The Moulin Horror Picture Show
by rockinyoursox
Summary: Mysteries! Mary-Sues! Star appearences! Bad continiuity! Thrills and Chills! Gals with gills! Snots! And most of all, bad narration! R&R is the only thing required!
1. Meet the MarySue!

Christian's over clichéd not-quite-a Mary Sue second love

Chapter Uno

Narrator: Ahhhhh…..what a pleasant day in Monmatre! It's the summer of, you guessed it! Hot love! (changes voice to a more serious tone) But for some, the summer of hot lovin' and sex is unfulfilled and depressing. (voice gets high again) Isn't that right Christian?

Christian: (sitting in his flat with a bottle of absinthe clutched in his hand) Meh.

Narrator: Isn't love wonderful Christian?

Christian: Love! Is a many evil thing. It rips out your heart and leaves you broken and bleeding in the middle of the street in a rainstorm. Love sucks!

Narrator: Isn't he cute?

Christian: Please die.

Narrator: Hehe….anyway unbeknowest to him on the other side of town, there was a stranger 'a heading his way.

(A chick comes in from the train sation, decked out in a prude little outfit with a pillbox on top of her head.)

Narrator: Ah! Our Mary-Sue, right on time!

Mary-Sue: Oh, ha! That's really funny.

Narrator: Well, you are the Mary-Sue right?

Mary-Sue: Yes, but my name is Anntonelle.

Narrator: Can I call you Tony?

Anntonelle: No, you may not.

Narrator: Too bad! Tony's going (sings) Downtown! Where everybody knows ya! Down town-

Anntonelle: NO! I'm going to go (sings) Downtown (stops singing) to write! To write about truth! Beauty! Freedom! And above all things…..LOVE!

Narrator: We know, we know. She sounds like a certain naive writer who did certain naïve things and it now in naïve denial.

Fans: We know it!

Narrator: And what apartment would she end up at other than Christian's!

Anntonelle: (knocks at door) Um, I'm here about your apartment?

Toulouse: (popping out of the door suddenly) Hiya! You wew the one whow called abouwt the apawtment, yeth?

Anntonelle: Yes.

Toulouse: (bloting out of the room with some bags) Whee! I'm fwee! Cwy fweedom!

Anntonelle: Should I be worried?

Narrator: No! This is character development.

Anntonelle: For some reason I don't believe you.


	2. Meet the crossover rip off!

Thank you very much all that reviewed! I love you guys!

* * *

Chapter II

Narrator: And now we return to lunchy burnchy with the fabulous Atnonelle, the reluctant Mary-Sue with a seemingly made up French name!

Antonelle: My apartment it rather shabby.

Narrator: It was then that Antonelle fell into a giant hole in the floor.

Antonelle: (landing in Christian's lap) That frickin dwarf ripped me off!

Christian: Woman...in...lap...not...Satine...GAH! Get off! (throws her off)

Antonelle: No wonder no one wants to live here.

Christian: So wrong...so right...

Antonelle: This is why I'm still virgin.

Narrator: A stereotypical virgin nontheless.

Antonelle: Shut up.

Narrator: Antonelle left the crazy, surley, bitter, old crotchy man and went back to her apartment for some rest.

Christian: I am NOT old and crotchy!

Narrator: Quiet, puny mortal! You are what I say you are!

Christian: ...meep.

Narrator: And now,we addrip-off crossover character...number one.

Janet Weiss: How in the blue moon did I get here?

Narrator: That's not relavant to the plot!

Janet Weiss: Ok. Can I leave? It's..(looks at the drunk Bohos) so unhealthy here.

Narrator: No, you and the Mary-Sue have to meet.

Janet Weiss: This is really awfully unpleasent.

Narrator: Too bad!

Antonelle: Well, hola.

Janet Weiss: You have a rather large hole in the middle of your apartment floor.

Antonelle: Are you my roomate?

Janet Weiss: I think so.

Antonelle: Well, I automatically hate you. Please die.

Janet Weiss: Well, goodness, what a shabby looking man, looking up from the hole!

Christian: You're just too cute. I'll shave and clean up just for you. wink wink

Antonelle: I hate you both.

Narrator: Janet and Christian are bonding...she's doing his laundery. Aww. Aren't they cute?

Antonelle: I hate you more.

Narrator: I know. And yes, Rocky Horror fans! This is pre-RHPS!

Rocky Horror fans: Will there be singing?

Antonelle: Heck yes, there will be disasterous singing in which the author will try to add a crappy song that has no meaning or releavence to the movie!

Antonelle: All I really want for Christmas is my two front teeth!

Janet: Ack! There is a dead man in your closet Christian!

Christain: How the hell did that get there?

Narrator: Under further investigation, they found out it was non-other than Paris Hilton.

Policemen: Ok, who killed Paris Hilton?

Narrator: Who killed Paris Hilton? Christian? Antonelle? Janet? Debbie Harry? Tubby Tab?

* * *

Ok. There is is. In all it's silly glory. R&R! 


	3. The Summer Of Anthrax is Getting Hot!

Thank you loyal fans. You guys are seriously awesome.

* * *

Chapter Tree. 

Narrator: Ha, ha. Paris Hilton DIED! YAY!

Cops: Well, Christian's a reckless drunk, Janet is the Queen of prude, and Antonelle is a Mary Sue. It can't be them. Let's go out for funnel cake.

Antonelle: Well, this sucks.

Christian: Well, everyone leave. Time for me to pine for Satine and recite awful poetry.

Janet: Ok. How 'bout those cops, Tony?

Antonelle: Blow it out your ear! Piss off.

Janet: Hmm. No one loves me.

Rocky Horror Fans: We...well, no, we hate you.

Janet: Waaaah. Everyone hates me. sobitty sob.

(Roxie pops in out of nowhere.)

Roxie: Holy crap, how'd I get here?

Janet: (sobs) No one loves meeee!

Roxie: Obviously. Now can we focus on me? I was making out with Richard Gere, and then-

Narrator: It was then Janet went crazy on everyone's henie.

Janet: I'm sick of being treated like crap!

Roxie: Shut up.

Janet: Blow it out your ear!

Roxie: What?

Janet: (marching into her apartment) I'm not sleeping on the couch anymore!

Antonelle: Yes you are.

Janet: (kicking her in the shins) EFYOU!

Antonelle: Ok, geez. No couch today.

Janet: (jumping down the apartment hole) NEVA DIE!

Christian: Waah? Janet? Hey...you look mad.

Janet: (slapping him one) You are a drunk.

Narrator: And so...it came to pass that Janet grabbed all the gin and threw it out the window.

Christian: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

-dum duh dum six hours later-

Christian: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Janet: (stomping on his foot) SHUT UP!

Antonelle: Well someone woke up on the wrong side of the futon today.

(Janet storms up the ladder, then trips and the entire ladder falls over.)

Janet: I am still mad! (runs out of the room)

Christian: Well, you know, I USED to like her, but she's angry for someone who's five foot seven.

Roxie: I'm five foot two. Got a problem with it, baxter?

Christian: No, no problem at all.

Antonelle: Well, crap that means I have to do my own laundery now.

Narrator: And then they realized...

Antonelle: ...

Christian: ...

Roxie: I like shiny things! And guns! Espcially guns!

Narrator: They realized...

Antonelle: ...

Roxie: Pretzles!

Christian: ...

Narrator: Just then it occured to them that if Janet could get so mad...

Antonelle: ...

Christian: ...that she could break my lamp?

Narrator: No. What just happened?

Christian: She threw my bottles out the window and broke my lamp.

Roxie: Andy, you're a star!

Antonelle: No, if Janet can get that mad...she could've killed Paris Hilton!

Narrator: Wow, you're not as dumb as you look.

Roxie: Have you seen polythene Pam, she's-

Narrator: Well, some of you are.

Antonelle: You think...

Christian: ...maybe...

Roxie: Darts of Fantastic Pleasure! You're the latest contender, you've got no-

Antonelle: Christian, get the tranquilizer.

Christian: Why, are we gonna disect Janet?

Antonelle: No. (Antonelle flips up the cushion on Christian's couch, (which looks like a missile launcher)and pulls out a huge-ass dart gun. She loads it with a small dart the sixe of your pen cap.)

Roxie: I'm sexy, so sexy, so come on over to- BLAMGETSHITINTHENECKWITHADART

Antonelle: Thank god.

Christian: You know...you're really talented.

(Antonelle looks at Christian, who looks at her.)

Narrator: Looks like the summer of anthrax is getting hot.

Christian: Man, he is really annoying.

Narrator: Did Janet kill Paris Hilton? Will Antonelle hook up with Christian? Is Roxie dead? Do Blondes really have more fun? What's love got to do with it? Holy rusted metal Batman!


End file.
